Finding Your Confidence to Live: Outgrowing the Trauma of Bullying

I’m truly dismayed to see so many persons with Albinism, on -repelling ends of AB Expereince Book Review New Perspective Charlamagne Tha God the spectrum; when there is a middle ground. Either people are posting I’m confident on the internet and social media or they only share the perceived reward, of overcoming.

I guess material assets or your annual earnings statement, should represent confidence? Many stories are being released featuring persons with albinism that tell the same story, over and over… On top of that people share tons of photos, but none with an explanation beyond superficial information.

While the purpose of this blog post is NOT to dismiss bullying or give justification for those who torment others, I would like to see us find the confidence to live… beyond the negative things that have happened to us. Stop allowing bloggers outside our community to control our narrative.. They keep using the same angle releasing posts about bullying as related to the condition to get attention! There are other things in our lives that carry more significance, if we shine the light on the process of growth through by writing our own articles we can take  back the power of representation Many people have lead very interesting lives and mastered a myriad of skills. We need to use those stories to highlight the positives. News flash, We are More than the skin We’re in!

Not long ago and episode of the #BreakfastClub featured a clip that was insulting to persons with albinism, as usual. The lead host of the show terribly infuriated me with the added; caller’s skits with irresponsible stereo types. These opinions and limiting ideas made persons with albinism the target of  bullying  by one of the shows co-host.  All he seemed to think about albinism is  we are blind.. only able to work as a babysitter and receive assistance. It was disheartening and a truly non humorous idea that doesn’t take much to spread on a nationally syndicated platform… this is what simple people do. They beg to stop being exploited and marginalized, then turn around and do it to others.

Perspective On Bullying

I believe those callers were not real, but whether they were or NOT…. they do NOT, reflect  all people with albinism. While they painted a very negative understanding on a personal level for the cohost, this demonstrated a lack of interest to research the subject beyond, making jokes. If he had  truly cared he would have found websites that shine a positive light on Albinism. Also could have been enlightened about the condition without all of the genetics and scientific talk about albinism.

While this Co-host prides himself on honesty and thirst for knowledge, I found it hard to believe after that skit and I believe this style of talk radio, is a way to grab attention for personal branding… while very crude, it indeed… has worked for him. I do NOT agree with the idea to take the clip from the show featuring Dick Gregory and branding it “Where do albinos go after high school”, however it was an opportunity for us to demonstrate how we celebrate the beauty of albinism and share what we are doing. Also a chance to turn the ignorance back where it belongs… to the people who manufacture it.

In the end I became more pissed that people with albinism didn’t take the opportunity to do this. Again it’s not my intention to drag this on further but, we simply have to do better. All of the long empty posts, ranting videos filled with curse words and letters with major typos from National Organizations and droves of photos with no message…No Power… of any positive magnitude! It’s a wonder why nothing has changed in hundreds of thousands of years and why people look at albinism as a novelty for their entertainment.

“Black Privilege: Opportunity Comes to those Who Create It.”

On to recent discoveries. Someone who values me, challenged me to grow. They shared an audio book. that I would normally reject, due to personal bias. If I do not like what people represent I do not support their platform in any way. If I didn’t look beyond that this time, I would have missed an opportunity to learn about. The same co-host of the Breakfast Club who created a big scene online, with a monumentally negative reflection on persons with albinism… has published a book. It was published this past April. The book is entitled, “Black Privilege: Opportunity Comes to those Who Create It.”

After the show clip was published on YouTube, I developed a disdain for this person and could NOT begin to care whether he could write or do anything constructive. I wasted no energy bad mouthing or regarding him with any type of support. I didn’t watch the show before or listen online. I didn’t start watching afterwards. I also did not like any social media pages to say negative things to him, because any amount of time doing so counts as support; Bad or good. I don’t co-sign on bs and refuse to help increase engagement for disrespectful people  My real issue with this person was that he asked on air, “Where do people with albinism stand on Black Lives Matters….”.

  1. It was very ignorant to assume that people want to be referred to with labels, such as albino…. (I don’t care who doesn’t mind, I don’t like it) 

  2. Its not smart to assume that albinism does NOT appear in All races and ethnicity (How does anyone feel about black lives matters) 

  3. It is very lazy to take the easy way out and pick on others for publicity. Seems like the only engagement he can get is simply pissing people off.

President & Cofounder of The Albinism Alliance Group (TAAG)

Redirecting Negative Energy

Now, that I have said this… I can move beyond the messenger and receive the message. People who know me and know what is important to me, knew that I would benefit from reading this book and cared enough to not only share the title but purchase and gift it to me on Audible. Thank you! There is no one like you, Mr. Hardamon. I got the book a few hours ago and have already made it to Chapter 6 of 11 total Chapters. I have got to say, so far I can identify with many of the things that are being said and appreciate this read. Something that stood out to me early on, “Small Pond Mindset” and “Fuck Your Dream”, especially if its someone else’s dream. I like the idea of positive thinking and transcending your origin and circumstances, no matter how meager. Hearing this story from the author really places a genuine feel on book.

Hearing the background of this person from them wasn’t that shocking, but appreciated the transparency. I kind of feel positive affirmations reading the book Black Privilege Opportunity Comes to Those Who Create It, because I believe this to be true and this is the way that I live my life. It’s never been my desire to live someone else’s dream or to be the next anybody, but to always be the best me possible. So, yes people get pissed when I don’t like their hero’s and idols. Maybe more so the way I express that we can cre8+ our own success, just doesn’t compute.

Over the years, I have rubbed people the wrong way by expanding on everything from a “why do things happen perspective?” and simply questioning everything. That’s how I make better decisions and stay informed beyond what people say. I’m not a person who trusts manufactured ideas, I prefer to create ideas and make them tangible. Those that appeal to me, I research them…if possible then choose whether to accept them.  I don’t readily grant approval for things shared with me, that are meant to suggest a like mind or connection. I believe time will tell if I share like ideas or common interest with a person.

I look for consistency in what a person says, NOT one particular goal a person claims. Its also why I don’t go on and on about goals and past accomplishments. There is always something else to learn, apply and more ways to grow. People have to do what makes them happy. It’s ok to be excited about meeting a goal and it’s necessary to share, as well. I just prefer to do it by applying my achievements in a resourceful  way. To say it is good, but to use the skill tool, asset or resource acquired.  Overall use the skill or talent do something for someone beside myself is, better.

Common Ground

The number one thing that I agree with the author, about… “I do NOT need validation from others to be me”, so as a result I don’t pretend to grant validation to others because, I also feel they don’t need it. I realize that people think that I do NOT like them or hate everything everyone does, as a result and draw all types of false conclusions. However I think people have a right to their own opinions and do NOT have to agree on everything to coexist. I show admiration and appreciation for others ideas by promoting them in written material on my social media, blog, websites and tagging others. I’m not on a rah rah team and do not require one, but everything online…. stays online; Good or bad. So any good mention online is worth ten times more than a fake pat on the back or compliment.

I do NOT cosign on foolishness, but still know how to have a good time… and I do NOT party with everyone. The truth is everyone does NOT mean us any good and some people are going nowhere fast. We have to make choices that put us in a positive position to get away from that type of environment and soar beyond things that threaten to kill our dreams. I had to find my confidence to live and I did so by deciding to never give others power over me, by living my own dream whether others approved or not. Believe me a lot of people DO NOT APPROVE. Back to the book and author, I can confidently say that a person that I perceived as an enemy of a positive cause to eliminate bullying, has a like mind. I am glad that I got a chance to be reintroduced to this person, through this book and I look forward to learning a few more things from it.

This is clearly a negative becoming a positive because an opportunity was presented, although it appeared negative on the surface… it created an ill feeling but didn’t change me because I was already doing my part to prove this negative stereotype of persons with Albinism, wrong. As a result, I want to share that I too understand the depths of bullying and the trauma of none acceptance, but much more so… from other people with albinism and in pursuit of career goals. Too many perspectives, to go into here. Everything in our lives cannot be bad.

Everything in our lives can’t be someone else’s fault. However if we ONLY focus on the low points and allow them to keep us from what we were created to do, we can’t motivate anyone else. While everyone is bullied at some point in their lives, how can we only validate bullying when it comes to persons with apparent disabilities and differences? What I would like to acknowledge is the desire to do things, following in other people footsteps; If it’s not based on your true talents/skills… it’s NOT living your dream. The author hit the nail on the head with this one. It’s okay to look at successful people and take a few things from their process, but idolizing them for fame and reward… will ONLY bring disappointment, if you refuse to learn what is needed and do the”real” work, to grow in the craft.

What’s Important 

I often speak about integrity and character being very important to me its because its the process that’s important, not the end result. When I see people aspire to be motivational speakers, but Ms Rae Lowery CEO Crr8+ Your Own Successwill not work on communication skills, it makes me feel their dream isn’t genuine. Toastmasters is cool but its not comprehensive… However this is my opinion, but I will not endorse things that are not genuine. While I don’t believe in telling people what they can and cannot do, I do encourage anyone to “use what they have” to accomplish their goals, but we need to set realistic goals and develop our skills and aptitudes for success in our desired field. Everyone who disagrees with us is NOT a daemon or dashing our dreams. Some people do care about us and believe we can do more than we have shared with them.

Bullying is when people intentionally seek to demean you by tearing you down, emotionally, spiritually, mentally or physically. All criticism is NOT bullying. That being said a person telling you, your dream is too big…. Is a bully! Don’t downsize your dream to help other people feel comfortable with themselves. Try if you can, to look beyond stereo typical examples of success. This is another thing I agree with the author own, completely. Reality TV mini celebs,” Real” actors and entertainment industry professionals aren’t the only people working and doing things. Try to widen your scope. This is NOT all that you can do and money and fame are NOT all that matters in this world. There are also other valuable careers besides doctors, lawyers and business owners. ( I am a business owner) Whatever you choose, please look at the work it takes to do these things on a professional level and invest in the research to do things the right way.

I am challenging people with albinism to truly hold their heads up and instead of telling the world how much you love yourself, internalize that. Find your confidence to live in being the BEST you, NOT the next Cardi B or Olivia Pope…. or  EVEN THE NEXT Jay Z & Beyonce… These people are successful in their own right, but you can work with these people, without trying to be them. Take something from their process of becoming who they are. Use it to elevate yourself, in this regard knowledge is power.

Everyone who disagrees with us is NOT a daemon or dashing our dreams.

Love you, by focusing on all the good that has happened to you, not the bad. I’ve experienced bullying from a very young age and still remember things I went through… being rejected by other kids way back in preschool. However when I take an opportunity to speak and share with world, it’s NOT all that I talk about. Yes things may happen now, but I rarely notice, because my mind set is slightly different. Even on platforms that I do NOT control or initiate, I do NOT allow others to put me in a box or negative position, to paint that “simplified overcome” perspective, because it’s not as simple as… one day you wake up with confidence. It doesn’t magically happen when you turn 25, 35, or 45 (I’m 41)…. It’s a choice that is made under the same circumstances of which you have always lived and has to come from inside you.

Getting that motivation  an external source can be disappointing if its no longer available. Don’t label yourself and demand that others stop doing as well. You are a person first and all conditions are last. Don’t accept other’s ignorance as your challenge to redirect, let them  keep and own it. Just because you happened to have albinism, it’s can’t be the most important thing about you. Being a police officer, banker, talk show host, author or whatever you choose as a profession, is important in its’ own right. Talk about the process of becoming…. not the perceived reward. Live for you and only compare your accomplishments, to your starting point.

With a positive attitude you can move around most any obstacle and attract favor of those needed to move those bigger than you. True wealth is more than money and fame, so create your own success. Thank you for reading and sharing this post. I hope that you can relate to some of the things mentioned and share your feedback. Look forward to reading your comments.

#albinism #albino #entrepreneur #TAAGATL #abexperienceATL #positivethinking #personalgrowth #smallbusiness #graphicdesigner #cre8tivemedia #beCre8tive #TheAlbinismAllianceGroup #theABcommunity

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *